Inside: What moms really want, and most importantly need for Mother’s Day
I woke up to birds chirping outside. I wasn’t awoken by baby cries or toddler whines, I woke up to the sound of nature outside of my window. I blissfully turned over to my husband’s side of the bed, only to find him gone.
“Ahh,” I thought, “He’s taking care of them. Everything’s okay.” I closed my eyes and drifted off again.
I woke up to hushed voices and giggles outside my bedroom door. I stretched in bed and thinking that no more sleep can possibly fit into this body of mine, I got up. After brushing my teeth and getting dressed, I opened my bedroom door and walked out.
I was immediately surrounded by my little people.
“Good morning, mommy!” My 5-year-old shouted with glee.
“We have a surprise for you!” His twin added.
“You will like it a lot!” Their 4-year-old brother said, grinning.
“Soop-rise!” Repeated their 2-year-old brother.
They were each holding a card. My 6-month-old baby was holding a card, too, which she was actively trying to eat.
I was presented with 5 cards, one from each child, and opened to read each one. Some were funny, some were sentimental, and I couldn’t catch a happy tear in time before it landed on my shirt.
There were fresh flowers on the table, my favorite mug with coffee next to the vase, a whole-grain piece of toast, and butter, my choice of breakfast every morning.
This was the best Mother’s Day ever. To me, it couldn’t get much better. I got a full night’s sleep, I felt special and appreciated, and my family was all around me, which is where I liked them.
I felt like a queen, and it was only the morning. We spent the rest of the day doing fun things together.
This is how I prefer to spend my Mother’s Day. But all mamas are not the same. And even though we share some of the needs we have, like getting much-needed sleep, we differ in others. Some mamas may need a day away, alone. And that’s totally okay. Every mom should get what she needs or wants on her special day.
So What Do Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day?
Here’s a list of things moms really want.
- A full night’s sleep, uninterrupted
- A day to herself
- For someone else to clean the house
- For someone else to cook dinner
- A manicure and a pedicure
- A massage
- For everyone to behave, if only for one day
- No temptation to raise her voice
- An uninterrupted bathroom break
- An uninterrupted bubble bath
- The car cleaned inside and out
- A whine-free day
- A fun family outing planned by someone else
- A special, memorable gift
- Thank you’s
- Notes and love letters
- Little pleasant surprises left for her all around the house
- Peace and quiet
- Uninterrupted time to read
- To feel appreciated
- A break from mom duties
- To be understood
- To be told she’s doing a good job
- To hear words of encouragement
- To finally get that faucet fixed
- To hear she’s the best mom in the world
- To hear she’s loved
- For someone else to wash, dry, and fold the laundry (Don’t put it away though, she’ll do that part herself. It’s a small price to pay for being able to know exactly where everything lives.)
Why do some moms want a day off for Mother’s Day?
Because moms need to refuel, recharge, get refreshed and tuned up so that tomorrow we can get back to normal, back to being the amazing moms that we are. We need to fill our own cup so that there’s something within us to pour into our families from.
Don’t forget grandma
There may be someone special in your life who you call Grandma. Grandmas need to feel love and appreciation, too. They want a phone call and a visit on Mother’s Day. They want hugs and thank you’s too because they, too, worked hard as a mother.
What if you’ve been disappointed on Mother’s Day?
What if you never got that special day you so desperately need? Whatever you want for Mother’s Day, whatever your perfect day looks like, tell your loved ones about it. Talk about what you would love your day to look like, and answer questions if they have them. I hear you saying, “But shouldn’t they know all this without me telling them?”
If I were sitting next to you in a coffee shop and you said this to me, I’d touch your shoulder, look you in the eye, and say, “Mama, there’s nothing wrong with telling your loved ones what you need. Nothing. If you’ve ever had a disappointing Mother’s Day, your family may need help and ideas from you. Do you need sleep? Tell them. Do you need two hours away? Tell them. You’re not being selfish or egocentric. You’re communicating your needs.”
We love being moms and we love our families. We love caring for them and being around them. But we also want to be able to share our motherhood struggles with someone who understands. We want to know that we matter. We need to feel special once in a while.
So, mama, I hope this Mother’s Day you feel extra special, loved, and appreciated.