Inside: Expecting a baby boy? Buckle up! Here are 48 things you need to know about being a boy mom
I rubbed my baby bump as I walked through the hallway of my little boys’ pre-school. It’s a small school where everyone knows one another. As a teacher from another class passed by, she asked, “Is it a girl this time?” “No, we’re having a boy,” I answered. “Oh…” she sounded disappointed. But I wasn’t. My fourth little boy was baking, and I couldn’t wait for him to join his brothers, because I knew what fun he’ll have with a boy tribe like ours.
So what is it like to be a boy mom? What should you expect when you’re raising boys? There are so many exciting things going on throughout the day, some things will make your heart flutter, some will melt it, and some will make it beat faster than you thought possible.
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Here are 48 things you need to know about being a boy mom
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1. Your days are never dull
There’s always something going on. If you don’t have an activity planned for them, they’ll come up with something on their own. When you learn how they decided to entertain themselves, you may or may not have a heart attack.
2. You may see blood more often than you’d like
Boys play rough. They climb on things. They fall off of things. Have plenty of bandaids and a disinfecting cream on hand.
3. You are their queen
Your sons see you as the center of their universe. You are their first love. Until a certain age, they really do think you know everything. Which doesn’t necessarily mean they will listen to everything you say.
4. Boys can be gross
You’ll be asking, “Did you wash your hands?” more times than you think about coffee throughout the day. And if you have multiple boys, half of your daily word bandwidth will be this five-word phrase. And showers? What showers? Get ready to hear, “Can I just go run in the rain and call it a day?” And other creative ideas to avoid showers.
5. Boys wrestle every chance they get
They will wrestle with each other. They will wrestle with daddy. They will wrestle with the giant stuffed bear they got for Christmas. They’ll gladly wrestle with you, too.
6. They give tackle hugs
Boys love their mama. They are also strong. They may surprise you with tackle hugs that may leave you flat on your back. You’ve got to have eyes in the back of your head so you can see it coming and make sure you land softly.
7. You will need to put all the breakable home decor away
When you’re raising boys, no matter how many times you repeat “No balls in the house”, balls (and other bouncing and flying objects) mysteriously end up indoors anyway. To save all your pretty, breakable home decor, put it all away for a few years. You may have to embrace home decor minimalism for a while.
8. Say goodbye to the white couch
If you have white couches in the house, hug them goodbye, because they won’t stay white for long.
9. Beware of the dangle
When your baby son first discovers his wee-wee, be prepared. He may try to pull it off. You will have to get creative to turn his attention to something more captivating. This will be hard. Because dangling things are fun for baby boys.
10. Naked bum-bums
You may have to find convincing arguments to explain to your toddler boy that people need to put pants on in order to go to the park.
11. Farts and burps
There’s something about emitting extra bodily air that boys are fascinated with. If they have no natural air to emit, they will make farting and burping sounds using other means. Be prepared.
Boys like to make messes and get messy. Daily baths and showers (sometimes multiple times a day) will be your best friend.
13. They smell like dirt
There’s a moment every boy mom knows when their little boy’s heavenly baby smell changes into something that smells suspiciously like dirt and wet birds.
14. Don’t leave them alone with a bottle of soap
Whether they’re in the bathtub, the shower or at the kitchen sink, hide all the extra soap. Or you‘ll end up with no soap and a bubbly tower.
15. The toilet is never clean
No matter how many times you teach boys the aiming skill, they’ll still miss the target. You may have to put your foot down and require every member of the household to take a seat before doing their business. This house rule will save you hours of cleaning and bottles of cleaning supplies.
16. Lots of laundry
Your washer and dryer will be put to good use. Probably daily. Possibly more than once per day.
17. Safe and fun don’t co-exist
You’ll try and try, but you may never find the balance between safe and fun.
18. You’ll probably go gray sooner
When you raise boys, don’t be surprised if you find a gray hair or two at forty. Or thirty. Life with boys gives you variety, even with your own hair color.
19. Boys are cuddly and snuggly
Boys are sweet. Contrary to popular belief, boys love a good snuggle. It’s probably due to the popular belief that they try to pull away and only give you a quick hug after a certain age, but if you’re always willing to give him a hug and a kiss when he’s ready, he’ll come back around in no time.
20. Boys will give you flowers
When you’re out on a walk, your little boy will run off into the bushes and come back with a flower for mommy. Never refuse those flowers. Even if they’re full of crawling creatures, as it happened to me with the bouquet below.
21. “Danger” is not in their vocabulary
Boys have a little interpreter in their heads that interprets the word “danger” into “fun”. “It’s dangerous you say? Sounds like fun, let’s do it!”
22. Legos everywhere
House slippers to the rescue! If you’ve ever stepped on a Lego with a bare foot, you know the indescribable pain. Spare yourself and wear slippers in the house. Or get rid of the legos. Your call.
23. You find strange things in the most uncommon places
Did you lose your stash of double-A batteries? Look under the couch cushions. Can’t find scissors anywhere? Look inside the shoes. Can’t find the dish soap? Look in the back yard, your boys may or may not have tried to wash some rocks with it.
24. Boys are always on the move
Climbing, jumping, and running is life for them.
25. Boys are loud
As much as you wish little boys came with volume controls, they don’t. Noise is part of life when you’re a boy mom.
26. They make up quickly
They fight with each other, and it takes them no time to become best friends again. Brotherly bond is real.
27. Boys love to make you laugh
Boys are fun, they love to laugh, and they love it when you laugh.
28. They will make swords and guns out of everything
No matter how much you try to avoid toy weapons, boys will still make guns out of legos and swords out of sticks. It doesn’t mean they’re violent. It means they’re boys.
29. Boys are protectors
They may fight with one another but when an outsider picks on one of their own, they will stand up for their brother. They will stand up for you, too, if they ever feel the need.
30. Boys are full of energy
You’ll wish you had half the energy they have.
31. Their clothes don’t last
Ripped pants and shirts are a regular occurrence.
32. Boys will want to wear the same outfit all week
And it’s not the outfit you would have picked for them.
33. they don’t care about looking handsome
They would rather be comfy.
34. Boys will want to wear out of season clothes
Shorts in the winter is always their first choice.
35. They can have a whole discussion about unlikely things
Farts, dead bugs, rocks, you name it. They can have a long conversation about boy topics that you’d never thought needed more than a word or two.
36. toy Cars are all over the house
Big cars, small cars, remote control cars, and flying cars will be your new home decor.
37. Boys hold their pee until the last moment
See, here’s the thing. Boys like to be everywhere, do everything, and they don’t like to miss out on anything. Taking a bathroom break means they’re missing out on the fun. So they hold it in until they can hold no more.
38. They will want to show you the same thing over and over again
“Look, mommy!” Is a phrase boy moms hear often. Over and over and over again. You lift up your eyes, and you look. Because he really wants you to see something, and it’s very important. You look again and again, as long as he needs you to look. And then you tell him how awesome he did.
39. Random things will fly at your face followed by “Sorry mommy!”
You may need to make a construction helmet a part of your daily wardrobe.
40. Boys can scream for no reason
At first, you’ll find yourself running to see who lost their arm, but after a few false alarms, you’ll tell them not to scream like that unless someone is bleeding. But they’ll still scream. Brace yourself.
41. Furniture is their playground
They will climb, jump off, and bounce on everything in the house.
42. They’ll bring gross stuff into the house
You’ll find rusty nails, dirty rocks, dead beetles and fireflies. It’s part of life when you’re a boy mom.
43. They pick their nose in public
If something itches, they will itch it. If something’s stuck in their nose, they’ll try to pick it out. No matter where they are.
44. Boys are silly
Silliness is part of being a boy. They will always make your day. If it’s not with hugs, flowers, or jokes, it’ll be with silliness.
45. They make great friends
Stay friends with your sons as you raise them, and you’ll always have a friend to lean on.
46. Your sons will want to marry you
When one of my boys said he wanted to marry me, I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “That’s so sweet sunny-boy, but you can’t marry me.” “Why not?” he asked. “Because I’m already married,” I answered. He sighed and made his peace with having to marry someone other than mommy.
47. They’re lots of fun
If I didn’t mention fun more than once, I wouldn’t have gotten my point across. Fun is life for little boys.
48. Your golden days are made
When my twins were three, we had a conversation as I drove them to an activity. It went something like this: 3-year-old: “When I grow up, I will buy a car and I will drive you to church and to the restaurant.” His twin added: “And I will drive you to the doctor and to school!” Their 2-year-old brother wanted to take care of mommy, too: “I will drive you to the stores and back home to daddy!”
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I love being a mom to boys and you will too
If you want to flaunt your boy mom status, here are some fun raising boys shirt ideas.
Boys will be boys. Have you ever heard the saying, “Boys never grow up, their toys just get bigger”? If you see your husband playing in the mud with your boys, or wrestling on the grass, or swinging on a rope swing, instead of wishing he’d just grow up, go and join in on the fun. Feel that young child inside, and let her go play. Because boys never grow. They just get bigger. Have fun raising amazing boys and enjoy your motherhood!
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